harmony+-+reflections

Reflections Harmony with self, with others, with community, with… Connections to living, to community, to self, dis-connections, displacement & bullies

I am, my essence, my core, self worth is non competitive non comparative, I am just me.

Belonging gives you a sense of value Without places/ people to belong you feel alone Make connections through interests

To be disconnected is to be left out, cast out, prevented from making connections. To make connections, make friends, talk about feelings, like you belong in a community. To be shut down, broken, stripped of your confidence, tormented tone of voice, people talking down to you, people thinking they are superior to you. Insults false compliments can destroy or develop disconnections, isolation brings a sense of disconnection. You have to contribute to the community for there to be connections. Good or bad they will both have an outcome.

To belong, to feel you belong, are they different? You think you belong but you don’t – can damage your self esteem Lack of achievement can make you feel disconnected from your community. Do you really need to belong? Is it really a healthy desire? Object / (commodity) worship- shallow, all for a sense of belonging, conform, change who and what you are – all so you can belong. Negative I know, but ask yourself, you dedicate so much time and effort so you can feel accepted. We are animals: to eat, drink, sleep, and so on. Is it something deeper, why do we do this? Is there a reason? Why do want to be accepted- peace of mind? What about not actually caring, what happens then? Do you spiral down or just reach a place of fulfilment? Our status? Why does it mean so much to us? We are all just insignificant little animals, maybe we should accept it?

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­-- My name is Achin, I came to Australia 8 years ago, I still remember when I arrived at the Perth Airport the first problem was I didn’t speak English and I tried to asked someone but they didn’t understand. First 2 years was the hardest times for me, everything was new and so different from where I come from, I had to learn a lot of new things and a new culture, I had to cope with everything with no help because my husband hasn’t family here either. It was hard especially when I was pregnant and had babies. If I was in my country I would get a lot of help from family and friends. I was happy back then. I used to ask myself, what am I doing here in Australia? I had no friends, no family, couldn’t work because my English was poor. However when I feel down I think about my children, they give me because Australia is a better place for their future and I am their mother After 8 years things get better I have learnt a lot of things. I have some good friends, and a part time job. I’ve learnt don’t let things get you down. I tell myself everyday to be positive and be happy and hope. _
 * I felt scared and lonely at times.**
 * I always think I don’t belong here.**
 * I use to be independent, had a good job and enjoyed my social life.**
 * I didn’t give up**
 * the power to cope,**
 * I must be strong for them. **
 * to understand and accepted things, people are different**

I feel belonging because I have parents, a husband, all my family and friends who are loving, sharing, caring, understanding, protecting, respectful, and always give support to me all the time. I feel safe when we live around people who I really love and they love me too. I think if everyone can feel something serene, peaceful, happy, and comfortable, no matter where you live and no matter what your community, if you are active in your community you will feel safe and belong. What I miss from my country are my lovely parents and all my lovely family. I miss my mother’s cooking, I miss my friends, and sometimes I miss talking my language. But that doesn’t matter because I still keep in contact and ask my mother how to cook some of my favourite foods or look at the recipe books hahaha….piece of cake! Another thing I miss again from my country is the countryside and beautiful views. But I realise this happens not only for me but to all people who live in another country and so far away from parents, family and friends. I feel really blessed and happy because now I have my lovely husband, parents in law and another lovely family here who I really love so much and now plenty of friends who are multicultural and I can speak Indonesian and English even tho not really well, because I still learning. People here really respect each other and I fell joyful because I live in a beautiful country and nice place. Here there are plenty of opportunities job, education, a good life all makes me feel more safe or more comfortable (belonging ). ---

I think if we don’t feel we belong to family, Community or anything I would feel unwell, it is very important we have connections to everything. It is very important to have family because you can visit your parents and talk to the children talk about stories about events when we were young, about the future and what we miss from our country. I give God big thanks because I am protected and I am very happy to see my family and friends again. The story when I arrived. When I came to Australia on the first day I felt very cold because in my Country I never felt the cold. The first day in Australia we had a free bus, in my country one taxi fits six passengers and here just one person for a taxi. The language is very difficult for me because before I was speaking just French.

Growing up I felt very alone and I often disconnected myself from friends, family and people because I didn’t feel they would understand. As I grow older I’m learning to grow my confidence by talking and communicating with people on a different level. Rather than shutting it out I’ve found that it’s not only myself that suffers from a lack of confidence and depression. I’m just as willing to help others with the same issues as well as have my say. I always felt I never belonged to anyone or even a group. I moved around a lot. I had heaps of different jobs. But I now think it wasn’t necessarily a bad thing because I’ve met people from all around the world and heard some fantastic stories. I think that has made me grow and deal with my problems, through people and trying to have more self confidence.

I think everybody wants to be part of the community, family and a group of friends. He or she would be happy if they have been accepted as part of a group. However the problem is if someone not accepted by a group, any groups. Groups need something in common, maybe people or rules.

In the work place, you’ve passed an interview, so you have the skills, qualifications or certificate. It seems all will work out well, but some people may get into trouble with work mates. There could be many reasons to cause trouble: such as the language, you are new, or someone has been working there a long time try to test what the new worker is like. This can bury someone new in the workplace or new in the group. It can make someone strong and one may be weak. _________________________________________________________________________ I was attending primary school in Orelia a suburb of Kwinana in 1988 and 1989 I was in year 3 in 1988 and year 4 in 1989. A student in my year and in my class was being bullied and picked on a lot by the year 5 and year 6 students one day in summer we were doing swimming lessons at Kwinana swimming pool. While the teachers weren’t looking this guy in my year was being bullied by one of the year 6 students. The year 6 student was pushing his head under water and wouldn’t let him get out of the pool. I walked up behind the year 6 student and pushed him in the water. He had all his clothes on so he went into the water with everything on including his bag his towel and his thongs. I then helped the guy who was being bullied out of the pool. Eventually the year 6 guy caught up with me and gave me a black eye. Ever since then me and the guy I helped were always being targeted and picked on and bullied by the older year 6 student and his friends. However we were too tough too stubborn and too strong willed to let anyone intimidate stand over us or bully us. his dad was a Vietnam war veteran and my step dad was a Vietnam war veteran so we were brought up to be rough and tough not to put up with that from anyone. The bullying continued but he and I stood our ground and we made some friends so we had the help when we needed it but not all the time.

I don’t believe in violence I have seen too much domestic violence in my culture and I have seen my fair share of violence. If a child of mine is being bullied at school or anywhere else I would try and deal with it in a civilised way without violence anger or negative energy. Ever since that day I stepped in and helped that guy at the swimming pool that day he and I become good friends. Unfortunately he left Orelia Primary school and moved out of Kwinana in 1989. I also left Orelia Primary School late 1989 and moved out of Kwinana. It has been 20 years since the day I stepped in and help him at Kwinana Swimming Pool. It has been 19 years since I last attended Orelia Primary School in Kwinana. It also has been 19 years since I last saw him. ! I wander where he is now and what he h is doing now. I hope he is well and living a happy life. He was one the first friends or most likely was the first friend I made in Perth as I moved to Perth from my hometown in the Wheat belt W A late in 1987. I haven’t forgotten the day that I stepped in and helped that guy at the swimming pool that and I don’t think he has either. I just couldn’t stand back and watch and let happen what happened to him that day. I just couldn’t do that even if it did cost me a black eye. I saw someone in trouble and decided to help them no matter what. ___